Times Of Trials
by Brooklyn's Miracle
Summary: I had pushed him as he glared at me, with that evil look in his eyes. And I had killed him. Now he was gone. Forever. And all because of me.
1. Chapter 1

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Disclaimer: I do not own newsies. I own only Miracle and Raven owns Raven. I do not have Raven46's permission to use her in this story so if it suddenly disappears, that is why.

Times Of Trials

Chapter 1

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"How do you let someone go Spot?

How do you understand that that's all right, that everything changes?

How do you find a way for that to make you feel good about life, instead of breaking your heart? You can't Spot. You just can't. And that's what you've done.

Broken my heart. Like a porcelain rose, it is unrepairable and unique. And it is broken, for now and forever.

The hardest thing you'll ever learn is how to say goodbye. You've already learned that. Now it's my turn." 

I sighed as a single silver tear slid down my face. 

I slid silently out the door, ignoring the face I had adored so much as it raise a hand as though to halt me.

Ignoring the same crystalline eyes that wrapped me in paradise when he tossed his head of light brown hair. 

The same face that had turned me away.

I knelt down next to the cardboard box and shivered.

I threw my dark brown hair over my shoulder and gazed longingly with my emerald green eyes at what lay unmoving before me.

It was my entire fault.

I had said goodbye instead of insisting to talk longer with him.

I let him desert my whole life and me.

I let him throw my life away.

Sure we only had known each other for a week, but I felt like I knew him more than that.

I had heard stories of his one-night stands.

I thought I was different. 

I thought I meant more to him.

I didn't though. 

I was the same to him as all the rest of the poor girls who fell for him.

Just another girl he could try and get to bed.

But as alike as I was, I was different.

He had not succeeded.

He had failed.

And his story would be ruined by me.

Aidan James Ariana Lynne Sullivan.

I was the one who outsmarted him.

I was the one who showed him he was wrong.

I was the one that stopped him from ruining other girls lives in simply one night.

I was the one who had my heart broken like all those others for a reason that only G-d knows now.

A reason that Spot Conlon was taking to the grave.

I shuddered and turned.

Wrapping my fingers around Raven's coat, I pulled her to the back of Medda's.

"He's why isn't it?" Her dark brown eyes shoe deeply into mine.

"He's the reason you haven't smiled or looked at me and Jack in months."

I nodded.

"He broke it." I whispered, my voice hoarse from the tears.

"Ruined a rare thing for a reason I'll never know."

"At least it's not your fault." Raven tossed her Auburn hair over her black coat.

"But it is!" I cried.

"I never turned back or refused to let go! I gave my heart away and let him take it and smash it to thousands of pieces."

"Now he's dead."

"Yes." Tears ran swiftly down my cheeks. "From an accident I caused."

"You never meant to push him off the docks! He slipped!"

"He should have known how to swim!"

"Somebody tripped you!"

I stopped yellling.

She had a point.

I had run off the docks waiting for a splash of water but instead, I felt myself falling and something slipping under my hands.

Yet she was wrong.

I had pushed him.

I had pushed him as he glared at me with that evil look in his eyes.

And I had killed him.

**__**

I had killed him.

I had **_killed_** him.

Now he was gone.

Forever.

Because of me.

And because of him.

And because of somebody's stupid foot.

I turned and came face to face with the one thing I would have never seen again.

I **_should_** have never seen it again.

But yet I did.

And it was staring right at me.

With the same haunting eyes.

And the same cocky grin.

And that same chilling voice.

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"I did it."


	2. Chapter 2

**__**

Disclaimer: I do not own newsies. I own only Miracle and Raven owns Raven. I do not have Raven46's permission to use her in this story so if it suddenly disappears, that is why.

Times Of Trials

Chapter 2

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"No."

The word slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to think.

As though on que, the grin disappeared off his face.

His eyes searched me as I slipped out of Medda's.

I sprinted over the Brooklyn Bridge, with occasional glances over my shoulders.

I darted through the streets and plopped down on the dock.

The same dock where we had sat together.

The same dock where I had been abandoned by him.

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"It's not fair Spot! What happened to Tanya is no way to live. She deserves to be alive still, but she's lucky she doesn't have to live through that torture any more."

I lowered my head to Spot's shoulder and he patted my back.

"I know. My sistah always dreamed of a bettah life."

Suddenly, he stopped and paled.

"Your sister? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Burrow leadahs can't tell nobody 'bout family members foah da fear of dem being hurt in order to get to da leadah. Dat's why I didn't tell you."

"I can understand that. I always wondered why Jack wouldn't tell anybody we were related."

"Yea." I watched him as he ran a hand through his short brown hair.

Why was he acting so nervous?

He was always out right with me.

"What's wrong?"

"Wha . . ." He looked up at me. "Oh, not'ing."

"I'm not stupid Spot. Something's wrong and I'm not gonna stop bugging you 'til I find out."

"Will . . ." He stopped and took my hand in his.

"Will ya be my goil?"

I stared at him in shock.

I was dreaming.

I was sure I was.

I pinched myself. It hurt.

"Yes." I looked at him and his face inched slowly closer to mine until our lips brushed.

I still got the feeling that he was hiding something from me.

A secret of sorts, but a secret that wasn't a secret.

Like a garden that everybody knew about, but nobody dared to speak of.

I looked down at my white shirt and brown slacks and fingered the red suspenders that Spot had given me.

Pulling my leg up to me chin, I fiddled with my fingers, eventually turning to my toes for entertainment.

I bent them this way then that.

Then this way again, before I froze.

"What do you want Jack."

"I'm not Jack."

The chilling voice reached my ears and I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears.

"I'm dreaming. You're dead. You're not here."

"If I'm not here, then why are you talking to me?"

I looked away as his bare feet slid down and swung over the water next to mine.

"You never used to talk to yourself you know."

He reached for my hand and I slid over.

"What do you want? If you're here, you must be a ghost or something. And that means if I do what you want, you'll go away."

"I want you to know that I'm not really dead."

"Ya right!"

That was it.

I was sick and tired of this Spot-look-alike teasing me.

I climbed to my feet and jumped.

"Get out of my life!"

I dove under the water and let out all of my air.

My eyes open, I squinted at the murk and mud that was the east river.

I opened my mouth to laugh as I saw a boot float by, filling it with water.

I choked and pushed myself to the surface. I floated momentarily, waiting for that same voice to make another smart ass comment.

It never came.

I turned and looked around me for any other forms.

He was gone.

I climbed out of the water and made my way back to Manhattan. 

There was a poker game and Jack expected me to be there.

It was the only thing that could get me to laugh since _it_ happened.

I smiled as I ran into Race in the bunk room.

He was searching his pockets for something.

"Whatcha lookin' foah Race?"

"I lost me cigah! My last cigah!"

"This one?" I pulled the cigar out of his mouth.

"Oh. Ya."

We hurried to change, I in the bathroom of course, before heading down to the lobby.

Shouts cluttered the hallway beside it and smoke wafted lazily through the open door.

Shoving a cigar in his mouth, I pushed my way in but stopped at the sight of a certain dark haired newsie.

"Wonders!" I shouted.

He looked up.

This boy was the first friend I made in Brooklyn.

"Hey Miracle! Ya heah da news?"

I felt the color drain from my face.

"What news?"

"We got a new leader."

I sighed in relief.

"Nobody knows who he is, but he let us come to da pokah game, so he must be okay."

"Cool."

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned.

It was Skittery.

"Hey Skitts. What do ya need?"

His face was bright as he said, "Somebody outside wants to talk to you."

I shuddered.

"I think it's Eric."

I jumped.

Eric was my boyfriend.

He had welcomed me into his heart when Spot ditched me, and shown me more love than anyone else I knew.

I thanked Skittery and headed outside.

Pushing my way through the crowd that lingered outside the door, I looked around.

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"Miracle . . ."

A ghostly voice called to me from a shadowed alley.

"Eric? That you?"

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"Come here Miracle."

I walked reluctantly forward.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I was able to make out a small figure further into the alley.

"Eric?"

The figure looked up, blood stained to it's face.

"Eric!"

I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Rocking back and forth, I chanted, "Eric . . . Eric . . . Eric."

I felt the sobs wrack my body despite my wishes.

Suddenly, a pair of hands clutched my shoulders and pulled me back.

I screamed as the wrapped a thick rope tightly around my wrists.

They shoved a piece of cloth into my mouth.

I silenced.

It was Spot's pocket hankerchief.

It tasted strongly of the East River.

I sobbed, my cry muffled by the cloth.

Two pairs of hands grabbed my arms roughly and pulled my up the side of a building.

Terrified, I barely noticed as my bonds were removed.

I gazed around, realizing gloomily that all edges of the roof were blocked off by two rows of the strongest looking boys I had ever seen.

I felt my knees gave out and I lay gazing horrified at the sky.

My peripheral vision scared me even more, showing me three figures moving hastily towards me.

And I screamed as they showed me to a single form.

__

"Hello."

"You." I hissed.


	3. Chapter 3

**__**

Disclaimer: I do not own newsies. I own only Miracle and Raven owns Raven. I do not have Raven46's permission to use her in this story so if it suddenly disappears, that is why.

Times Of Trials

Chapter 2

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"Yea me."

I shuddered.

"What do you want."

__

"I want you to listen to—"

I broke him off.

"You want me to listen to what? Huh? Your excuses for tearing my life apart piece-by-piece and then expecting me to forgive you? Yea, well forget it Spot."

I turned and listened to the fevered breathing of those around me.

"Does this sound familiar to you Spot?" I kept my eyes focussed on the velvety sky above me.

"How do you let someone go Spot?

How do you understand that that's all right, that everything changes?

How do you find a way for that to make you feel good about life, instead of breaking your heart? You can't Spot. You just can't. And that's what you've done.

The hardest thing you'll ever learn is how to say goodbye. You've already learned that."

I paused. "Now it's my turn. Permanently." 

I sighed as a single silver tear slid down my face. 

__

"No. I don't remember Mir. That's why you need to listen."

I whirled around to face him.

Momentarily, my words left me.

His eyes seemed to reflect off the white light as he took a step towards me. 

Beautiful icy blue eyes stared at me, a tinge of green was etched around his black pupil whist soft silver snow fell, just like that of an snowy globe. 

Sandy silky blonde hair reached slightly past his earlobe every step he took his hair would brush against his face, a small wisp would fall in front of his eyes. 

How I wanted to push it back and lay soft butterfly kisses along his neck.

"S-Spot." I stuttered.

If it was under different circumstances I would have flung myself into his strong arms and held him close, felt his warm breath.

__

"Yes?"

His seductive voice broke through my fantasy.

A hot rage filled my chest at his lies.

Lies of whereabouts I knew were false.

Lies of I being the only one.

Lies.

Lies and lies and more lies.

"How can't you remember Spot! You were there!"

__

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. I wasn't there."

His voice soothed my soul.

Hauntingly too well.

Any other voice as calm as that would have been thought of as haunting.

A nightmare brought to life.

Brought to life in a way not thought to be even imaginable.

"Uh, Spot?"

A gruff voice shocked me from behind.

__

"Yes?"

"Somebody's coming. A girl."

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"Ignore her."

I watched slowly as the head and shoulders of Raven peeked over the edge of the roof, confusion written all over.

"Spot?"

I screamed as she tottered on the fire escape, before falling back in a dead faint.

"RAVEN!!!!!"

I felt my heart stop as in slow motion, one of Spot's boys lunged for her.

He slipped and missed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

"Raven! Oh no!"

I lunged for the ledge forbidding the image that would meet my eyes.

But I was wrong.

Jack was red faced, his arms on the handles of the ladder, and Raven in his arms.

"Jack. Hand her to me, then go back to the LH."

He handed her to me with a peck on Raven's forehead, then reluctantly backed down the ladder.

As I struggled with the limp body of Raven, I felt two pairs of hands wrap themselves around my waist and haul me up.

I laid Raven on the roof and slapped her harshly across the face three or four times.

"What!" She shrieked as she sat bolt upright.

When she saw me, she laughed, but as Raven's deep black eyes wandered over our surroundings, she grew solemn and grave.

"Are we going to die?" She whispered harshly into my ear.

"No." I laughed and stood.

"Lets get this over with." Spot said.

"Then can I go? Me and Raven?"

"Fine. Now listen."

I cocked my head wearily as I lay myself down on the my stomach on the floor and began waving my legs over my back.

"You remember Tanya right?"

I nodded.

"Well, she was my sister, but I also had a brother."

"So?"

"A – A twin brother. He was always really feminine and he hated the way I always became a leader. I had to hide Spotty away most of the time so that the guys wouldn't learn about her."

"Wait. Spotty?"

Spot rubbed his head harshly and nodded. "He really liked girls names."

I snickered inwardly.

"One day, about a month ago, when I was visiting him in his apartment, he locked me in there. From what my boys tell me, he dumped you and took over Brooklyn."

I shuddered.

"When you stopped passing my window on the way to the docks every day, I broke out and as you came along to the docks that last time, I stuck out my foot and tripped you."

"I'm innocent." I smiled truly, the first time in days.

"Yea."

"I never killed you – I mean him."

Raven approached me from behind. "I told you youse was innocent."

"Now – now we can get back together." Spot voice broke into our joy and without thinking, I answered back.

"Sure!"

He ran forward and embraced me, but sudden realization smacked me, and I pushed him away.

"Stop Spot. I – I have a boyfriend – Eric, he's hurt."

"Oh . . ."

"I'm sorry Spot."

I rushed down the ladder and threw myself at the still form.

"Eric? You alright? Eric . . . Spot's alright he never died!"

Eric looked up, fear hidden deep within his bruised and bloodshot eyes.

"Then, then you're gonna leave me and go back to him aren't you?"

A/N~ I thought this would be the last chap. But it's not. Oops. I need help! WHAT SHOULD SHE SAY?!?!?!?!

SHOUT OUTS:

HopeWasHere: No Spot did not die. And you know now who it was. Lol.

Sphinxx: I never killed Spot. And I am allowed to leave you hanging. MWAHAHAHAHA!

StormyOne: Awwww shucks!

Randa: Thanks

Cerridwen4: You're right. Eyedrops ARE evil. And I'm sad. Eric does get hurt.

KawaiiJulie Sama: HAHAHAHAHA!

Raven: Thanks. :P


	4. Chapter 4

**__**

Disclaimer: I do not own newsies. I own only Miracle and Raven owns Raven. I do not have Raven46's permission to use her in this story so if it suddenly disappears, that is why.

Times Of Trials

Chapter 4

"I – Well . . . I dunno Eric . . . I dunno."

He nodded and pulled me close.

I sobbed into his shoulder, feeling the thumping of his heart grow fainter and fainter.

"Jack!" I screamed, feeling his life begin to slip away.

Slipping through the fingers of my outstretched hand.

"Jack! Eric's dying!"

Ravy scrambled down the ladder from above.

She pushed me away, and sobbing, I felt two pairs of arms hold me back.

"Let 'er go guys." Spot made his way through the crowd of newsies behind me.

The two released me, and hurriedly, Spot swathed me in a large hug.

"The rest of you . . ." Jack shouted, "Go back inside. Race . . . tell Kloppy not to let anybody out of the lodgin house.

Race turned, sliding in through the creaking door of the building.

I watched, in horror, as Raven hopelessly pressed on Eric's chest and heart . . . willing it to work. 

Race returned and solemnly wrapped me in his cigar smelling coat.

"Jackey – boy," Spot started. "Take me boys back ta Brooklyn. I'll be there soon."

Jack began to object, but I sent him a look that silenced him.

His footsteps echoing faintly on the stone of the alleyway, Spot approached Raven and whispered, "How is he?"

Raven straightened then sighed. "He's gone."

Spot shushed her then waved his hand at Race, motioning him to lead me away.

The pair left hurriedly.

"Don't die Eric . . ." I sobbbed as Race led me from the empty alley. "I love you . . . And I'd never leave you."

I screamed . . . something had stirred . . . not only inside me, but Eric as well.

"HE'S ALIIVE SPOT! ERIC'S ALIVE!"

"No he's not Miracle . . ." Spot whispered soothingly.

"Go check."

He did, and I was relieved as Eric achieved his sitting posture. 

"I love you too."

THE END


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